Source Media: Alternet
I started working as an escort when I was 19. I was in my second year of college and struggling to make ends meet. I knew I didn’t want to take out student loans, but I didn’t really know what else to do. The only jobs I was qualified for paid minimum wage, which at the time was $8 an hour. That just wasn’t going to cut it, especially since I was in school full-time and could only work part-time.
I thought about all my options, but it didn’t seem like I had very many. I couldn’t bring myself to do porn, and I knew wasn’t talented enough to be a stripper. I figured I could try being an escort. It turned out to be pretty easy work for me, and I only needed to see clients one or two days a week to cover my expenses.
At first, I was quite open about my job. When I met people at parties and the “so, what do you do?” question came up, I’d be honest. I told people that I was a full-time student and a part-time escort. Reactions were so negative, however, that I quickly realized I needed to be more selective about revealing this information.
In my first few months of working as an escort, I was met with enough raised eyebrows, grimaces of disgust, and looks of pity to last a lifetime. Sometimes I received lectures about how I was enabling the patriarchy by choosing to be a sex worker. I was derided and called selfish for choosing a line of work that encourages sexism against women, and I was accused of being a traitor to the feminist cause. On many occasions, I was asked intrusive questions like “has a client ever hit you?” and “what’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever had to do for a client?”
One friend – or someone I thought was a friend, at the time – told everyone in my social circle that there must be something psychologically wrong with me, because nobody in her right mind would ever choose to be a prostitute. She said she’d read that people in the sex industry are only there because they’ve been forced into it, or because they were sexually abused as children and then make warped decisions about their sexuality as adults. Soon the rumour in my extended group of friends was that I had been sexually abused as a child and that I was mentally unstable. People pitied me. I was humiliated.
The reality is that I had a happy childhood that was completely devoid of abuse of any kind. I grew up in a very ordinary middle class family. My parents cooked dinner for me every night, helped me with my homework, and told me they loved me every single day. My older sister lent me her clothes and let me hang out with her and her friends. I believe I had an incredibly fortunate upbringing – just about the best any child could possibly hope for.
But everyone in my social circle came to think of me as deranged and messed up. I eventually grew apart from those friends. As I met new people, I kept my work a secret. I had become uneasy around strangers. I didn’t trust them. Experience had taught me that people would judge, pity, or lecture me if I was open and honest about my life, and after years of enduring these reactions, I didn’t have the energy to cope with them anymore. So I withdrew.
Today, people are shocked when I tell them I used to be an extrovert. In high school and my first year of college, I was always the life of the party and the center of attention. I was the person who introduced people to other people. I cracked jokes and goofed around. I sang out loud, laughed raucously, and danced wildly. I was outwardly happy and I felt free to express myself. I was never self-conscious.
Now, I go out of my way not to draw attention to myself. I try to blend in, fade into the background. I don’t want to have to explain myself. I don’t want people to know who I am, to find out my secrets. These days, people describe me with adjectives like “quiet” and “shy.” I keep to myself a lot. In my isolation, I am bombarded with negative images about sex work in the media, and that only makes me feel worse.
Sometimes I can shrug a lot of this off. It’s not like I’m depressed all the time. I have three really supportive friends in my life who know what I do and accept me the way I am. I also have a handful of work friends that can empathize with my struggles and offer helpful advice. I can go months at a time without getting down about any of this. But lately, I've really been struggling with the stigma, and I’ve been feeling hopeless and uncertain about my future.
I think I’ve internalized the societal hatred of sex workers. I am embarrassed to be a sex worker, even though I like my job, I’m good at it, and I’ve made exceptional progress in my career over the past few years. Despite all my accomplishments, I feel like a loser. Sometimes I jokingly refer to myself as a "whore" or a "hooker" to try to re-claim these derogatory terms, but I often find myself thinking of myself as "just a whore."
After almost a decade of doing this work and hearing all the negative messages about sex workers and getting bad reactions from people when I tell them what I do, I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me. Maybe everyone is right. Maybe I am deranged.
The terrible irony is that I have a graduate degree in sociology. I, of all people, should know better than to think like this. I spent years of my life learning about how socialization works. My master’s thesis drew heavily on Goffman – one of the first scholars to investigate stigma. I am intimately familiar with how social norms develop and change over time, and how and why discrimination occurs against various groups of people. I guess it just goes to show how intense social conditioning really is; all the book-learning in the world is not enough to combat the weight of social norms.
I wish I could feel proud of who I am and what I do. I’m tired of feeling embarrassed and ashamed. I wish other people could see me for everything that I am, and not focus so much on this one aspect of my identity. There are so many things that make me who I am. I love animals, horror movies, and going on road trips. I’m passionate about gender equality and LGBTQ rights. I’m interested in politics and current events. I do yoga, I read a lot, and I stay in close touch with my family. But these traits are overshadowed by the fact that I am a prostitute. I don’t feel like anybody cares about any of these characteristics – all they would see is a whore.
Lately, I’ve been wondering how I could ever date someone again. It’s been three years since my last relationship. My ex-boyfriend knew me before I became an escort, and my work was never an issue with him. Now, I’m afraid to tell potential partners about what I do, because I’m nervous that they will make all kinds of awful assumptions about me. I worry that they will think I’m some kind of hyper-sexual nympho (I’m not), that I’ll sleep with them on the first date (I prefer to take it slow), or that I’m damaged and need to be treated like I’m fragile (which would be terribly patronizing and unpleasant).
I also wonder what any potential boyfriend would say to his friends and family about his relationship with me. How would the conversation go?
“I’m dating this girl I just met. She’s pretty great.”
“Oh, cool. How did you meet?”
“Nice. And what does she do?”
“Oh, you know. She’s a hooker.”
I know I don’t have to come out as a sex worker; I do have a mainstream part-time job. I use it as a cover, so that I don’t have to reveal my occupation as an escort unless I feel comfortable doing so. The job is loosely related to my academic field of study. But the fact that I pretend this part-time job is my full-time job makes me feel like a liar. I hate lying. I’m a very honest person by nature, and I desperately want to connect with people in a genuine and authentic way.
When I do muster up enough courage to tell people about my escort work, I notice myself glossing over it very quickly and hurriedly steering the topic of conversation toward my graduate degree instead. I hype it up and draw attention to it, as if to say, “yes, I’m a whore, but I’m also smart and normal, really, I promise!”
I find it pretentious and annoying when other people talk excessively about their university educations, and I hate it that I have become one of those people. However, I feel an urgent need to communicate that I am more than “just a whore.”
In my darkest moments I am desperately overwhelmed with feelings of despair, and fear that I have made myself unlovable. Sometimes I think the only way out of this mess it to stop working as an escort and leave the sex industry behind. It would be hard to quit, though, because the work is relatively easy, my schedule is flexible, and I make twice as much money doing sex work as I could doing any other job I’m qualified for. Besides, I can never take back what I’ve done. I will always have a history as a prostitute. I will always be seen as damaged goods, whether I am a current sex worker or a former one. So I might as well just keep going, right?
I don’t feel strong enough to cope with society’s condemnation, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. I wish I’d known what I was getting myself into before I jumped into this line of work. But most of all, I wish I’d never become a prostitute in the first place.
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Source: Venus Adult News
LOS ANGELES—Adult industry legend and AVN Hall of Famer William Margold died Tuesday night during the broadcast of his program on XXXPornStarRadio.com from his Los Angeles apartment. He was 73.
Though few details are yet available about the cause of Margold’s death, close friend Joanne Cachapero told AVN, “It was sudden and apparently he did not suffer.”
News of Margold’s passing spread like wildfire this afternoon around the halls of the AVN Show’s opening day following a post on fellow Golden Age icon Herschel Savage’s Facebook page at around 2:30 p.m. that read, “I am saddened to learn of the passing of Bill Margold. He was doing his radio show last night when he left us. Goodbye for now old friend.”
Getting started as a performer in some of the most celebrated movies of triple-X cinema—including 1978’s Lust at First Bite (aka Dracula Sucks), 1979’s Olympic Fever and 1982’s Pleasure Dome—Margold went on to become the head of trade advocacy group the Free Speech Coalition, as well as either founded or co-founded the X-Rated Critics Organization (XRCO), Fans of X-Rated Entertainment (FOXE) and the PAW Foundation. He also for years hosted his own Legends of Erotica induction ceremony during the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo at Raymond Pistol’s Showgirl Video on Las Vegas Boulevard.
Of all his ventures, Margold was particularly proud of PAW—an acronym for Protecting Adult Welfare—which he created to assist adult performers in all areas of their lives. Once married to 1970s porn actress Drea, Margold was in the 2010 documentary After Porn Ends, which is about life after being in the porn industry.
AVN Founder Paul Fishbein reflected on Margold’s unparalleled impact on adult: “Bill Margold was a bit of a renaissance man who spanned almost the entire history of the adult industry. He was an actor, writer, director and an industry spokesman and historian. I respect him most for his PAW foundation, as he worked tirelessly on behalf of industry performers, in particular young girls who were in need of help or mentoring.
“I also served with him on the board of the Free Speech Coalition for almost 10 years,” Fishbein continued. “He was a contrarian and a pain in the ass, but it was all for the common good for First Amendment protection, which he cared about very deeply.”
X-Rated Critics Organization chariman “Dirty Bob” Krotts, who charged Margold with overseeing the Hall of Fame induction portion of the annual XRCO Awards Show for many years, echoed Fishbein’s comments, offering, “Bill’s love of the adult industry was often masked by his gruff exterior. Industry history was near the top of his list of important aspects—he was entrenched in tradition. Now Bill is a real Legend of Erotica. He will be missed.”
Veteran adult journalist Jared Rutter, who was closely involved with the XRCO from its early years, commented, “He was really a one-of-a-kind person. He’s going to be missed by a lot of people in a lot of areas.”
Rutter noted that Margold co-founded XRCO with the late Jim Holliday, who long was considered the go-to adult industry historian. Then when Holliday passed away 10 years ago, Margold inherited the mantle.
“He certainly has a legitimate claim to be called an industry historian,” Rutter said. “He was pretty much there from the beginning. He saw many changes happen, many people come and go. I think he’ll be most remembered for his work with talent. He was very fond of talent. He respected them and he helped guide quite a few careers. People like Amber Lynn. I think he was influential with Nina [Hartley] too. I think more than a historian, he was really an active part of history and I think that’s what he will be remembered for.”
Rutter added, “Of course he was very vocal about everything. It’s a shock. I thought he’d just go on forever.”
Contemporary Richard Pacheco told AVN, “Bill Margold was a huge personality. Abrasive as poison oak when he wanted to be and as charming as your favorite uncle when he wanted to be that.”
Nicknamed Papa Bear, Margold from 1972 to 2007 appeared in more than 250 movies, including several dozen as a non-sex performer. He is also credited for giving Ron Jeremy his nickname “The Hedgehog,” and appeared in the 2001 biopic Porn Star: The Legend of Ron Jeremy.
Born in Washington, D.C., Margold graduated from California State University at Northridge, with a degree in Journalism. He was the son of Nathan Margold, a Harvard Law School graduate who went on to become Solicitor General of the Department of the Interior under President Harry S. Truman. Nathan was also the author of a landmark study commissioned by the NAACP that studied public education for Black Americans.
Before getting into XXX, Margold reportedly worked as a probation officer, and later worked with agent Reb Sawitz in the office of Reb’s Pretty Girls modeling agency, helping ease actresses’ entry into the industry and helping to find work for them with a then-small but growing number of directors and production companies. It was there that he gained a reputation among performers as a “go to” advocate for them—a description many talent veterans, both retired and still working, continue to hold.
The Adult Performers Actors Guild (APAG) and Adult Film Crew Local 424 posted this announcement on their joint Facebook page: “It is with extreme sadness and remorse that the officers of the adult performers actors Guild have to announce the passing of adult industry historian, Bill Margold. Bill should always be remembered for the contributions that he gave this industry most importantly by recognizing and appreciating the actors and actresses from the golden era and beyond.”
Hall of Fame actress Brittany Andrews added, “Wow, just heard the news that an old crony has passed away. A Legend among Legends in the Adult Business. Jeesh, I met him when I first got into doing films, over 20 years ago. I hosted a talk show called ‘Talking Blue’ for 9 years, that he participated in quite often. I know over the years, one might say he had a bit of a crass side. However he was always super sweet to me. He very much was an important and integral part of the business, with a loud voice that took action. As a crass bitch myself, I appreciated his demeanor, especially since it was never directed at me LOL I for one, will miss him. RIP Babe.”
Veteran director Luc Wylder posted, “Ok, Bill, William Margold passed away at work, not in a hospital with tube down his throat. This is exactly how he would have wanted it to end. What a performance. CUT! Ok, kill the lights, it’s a wrap.”
Close friend John Douglas posted this remembrance on Facebook: “Years ago I did a cable show about The Industry and met a ton of really cool and amazing people. The guy that really opened the door for us was William Margold. Bill. Poppa Bear. The Legend. We became close friends because we loved to verbally spar. Constantly. For years after the show, we would get together to hang out, go out to dinner and I would taunt him mercilessly. Didn’t matter because Bill was always right (in his mind). To outsiders it must have looked like we were lifelong enemies. But we did that because we loved each other.
“My partner from that show just texted me letting me know he died suddenly and they just found him about an hour ago. I think the shock of the news is starting to set in. I’m numb.
“I could memorialize him for hours with stories from back in the day (and the narcissist that he was, he would love it) and it seems so surreal right now thinking back on that. But maybe some other time. Gotta absorb this first.”
For its part, the Free Speech Coalition issued the following statement:
“The Free Speech Coalition expresses deep sadness at the death of former FSC Director William Margold. Bill was one of the founders of the modern adult industry both as an actor in the Golden Age of film and in his lengthy career as an advocate for the industry and its performers.
“Jeffrey Douglas, FSC Board Chair, remembered Bill’s contributions to the industry and the organization:
“‘Without Bill Margold, the Free Speech Coalition likely would have passed into history in 1995, as had its many predecessors. At that point, interest in the organization had dropped to the point that there were insufficient nominees to fill the Board of Directors, and Bill selected a group to fill the numerous vacancies. His slate, (along with Paul Fishbein, then publisher of AVN) was accepted by acclamation at a general membership meeting in Las Vegas. From that the Free Speech Coalition was reborn.’
“Bill viewed the adult industry, and especially the performing artists, as his family. He was driven by his pursuit of what he believed was in the best interest of talent. Fiercely passionate and happily cantankerous, Bill took pride in plaguing those whom he perceived as his opponents. His gift for epigrams was constantly put to the service of advocating for the ‘Family of X.’
“Bill left the Board of Directors of the Free Speech Coalition in the early 2000s with deep regret. He had a vision for both the trade association and the industry that was uncompromising and zealous.
“Bill knew he was unique and reveled in that position. We bow our heads at his passing.”
During his tenure with Free Speech, Margold inaugurated a unique type of fundraiser for the organization: naked bowling. Each year, beginning in about 1994, he arranged for a bowling alley somewhere in the city to close its doors to the public for one evening and allow adult stars to doff their clothes and bowl, and FSC charged fans for the privilege of watching it all happen. The fan attendees were also able to photograph the stars and buy videotapes and other items they had for sale. In later years, when the bowling alleys refused to allow complete nudity, the event was done in skimpy bikinis.
Adult performer Mr. Marcus shared his own sentiments about Margold, who had an office next to his in Van Nuys for almost 10 years.
“Bill came from an era when what we do for a living was very risqué but artsy and he was very supportive of everyone who followed after that,” Mr. Marcus said. “I consider him and always will consider him a true porn historian. We need people like him to connect the dots. He spoke on the industry. He talked to mainstream, he dropped quotes. He was a creative cat, and he had love for performers. He called all of us his ‘kids.’ Coming from his era, I can see why he said that.”
Mr. Marcus recalled that he and Margold “used to argue about all kinds of things.”
“He didn’t think much of me. I had to prove myself to him,” he continued. “There were many a nights I’d sit there and talk to Jim South and many nights I’d sit there and talk to Bill. He always had on the flower Hawaiian shirt like he was on vacation.”
Mr. Marcus added, “He was a big guy and he had a big heart and I guarantee that’s what he’s going to be remembered for. He spoke his mind, he wasn’t afraid to say shit, but deep down inside that dude had a huge heart.”
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This is another great opportunity for event organizers to offer additional global exposure to their exhibitors. The broadcast has a potential audience of millions of listeners worldwide.
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There is no cost to participate in these interviews.
ASSISTANCE REQUIRED FORM ORGANIZERS
To host a live broadcast at an adult industry event, the production team of Adult Industry Show require the following assistance from the organizers:
MAJOR BOOST FOR ADULT EVENTS
Exposure given to the event organizers and exhibitors via the live broadcast is on a long term basis. Immediately after the live feed, all episodes are published in the archives indefinitely, so that listeners can tune in at anytime in the future.
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Source: Venus Adult News
The Memo reports: Persuading investors to give you their cold hard cash is difficult for any new business. But it’s even more of a challenge if your business is considered ‘x-rated’. Whether you’re creating innovative porn, sex toys, or adult events, many traditional backers still want to steer clear of so-called ‘reputational risk’.Now there’s a new platform hoping to syphon much needed funds into this sexy sector.
“And we want investors to get the best offer and to know they’re also supporting a company, that they can be a part of something amazing.”
In the future, Maskell wants to expand from reward crowdfunding to equity crowdfunding, and even into other frequently restricted financial services.
See full story on Venus Adult News at at https://venus-adult-news.com/en/new-crowdfunding-platform-adult-entertainment-projects/
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An MP is calling for landlords who offer accommodation in exchange for sex to be prosecuted after the justice secretary told him such arrangements were already a criminal offence.
A BBC investigation found that some landlords were targeting vulnerable young people with "sex-for-rent" deals.
They argued there was no compulsion on people to respond to such adverts.
But Justice Secretary David Lidington has revealed that such offers may breach the Sexual Offences Act.
Landlords that BBC South East spoke to in April said they did not believe they were breaking the law, with one describing the deals as a "sex with benefits" arrangement.
But Hove MP Peter Kyle pledged to force website operators to ban "exploitative" adverts.
He took the case to the Ministry of Justice and has now been told by Mr Lidington that "such acts/arrangements are already a criminal offence in England and Wales by virtue of the Sexual Offences Act 2003".
Mr Lidington said in a letter: "Taken together, these [provisions] essentially mean that an offence is committed when a person offers accommodation in return for sex, as they are inciting/causing another person to have sex with them in return for 'payment'."
Adverts seen by BBC South East included one posted by a Maidstone man asking for a woman to move in and pretend to be his girlfriend, another publicising a double room available in Rochester in exchange for "services" and one in Brighton targeting younger men.
Tenants said they feared they would lose their accommodation if they did not comply with requests for sex.
But Mr Lidington's letter suggests police already have the weapons to take action against landlords imposing such demands on tenants and says the offence carries a prison sentence of up to seven years.
Labour MP Mr Kyle said: "This is an incredibly significant moment, and it's going to protect vulnerable people enormously.
"Right now there are people out there advertising accommodation in return for sex. I want to see them prosecuted; I want to see them go through the courts process; I want to see them convicted, and I want to see them go to jail."
Balbir Chatrik, director of policy at Centrepoint homeless charity, added: "These landlords need to know this is not acceptable and they need to feel the full force of the law if they resort to these kind of adverts."
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The Sex Factor is a $1M reality porn competition. Eight guys and eight girls compete for instant porn stardom as they navigate a series of increasingly complex and explicit challenges. None of the contestants have ever been filmed before and they’re coached, mentored, and judged by five of the biggest adult film stars in the world.
Creator and Executive Producer Buddy Ruben developed The Sex Factor while working in San Francisco's tech industry. Ruben's production company was acquired by one of the largest adult websites on the planet, xHamster.com. The new ownership moved Ruben to Las Vegas where they opened their US headquarters and production studio. Season two kicks off with an open casting call at the AVN Awards in Las Vegas January 18-21, 2017. In addition to The Sex Factor, Ruben and xHamster are developing two new adult reality shows, which will be announced in 2017.
Founded in 2007, xHamster is one of the world's largest adult entertainment sites, hosting a huge variety of content to cater to all preferences. In November of 2015 surpassed 10,000,000 members worldwide.
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